I don't exactly remember all the details, but I do remember, it was a dark and stormy night, all right maybe not stormy, and yeah, it was in the summer, so maybe it wasn't even dark, but this I do remember. We grilled chicken on the grill (fajita chicken) and Alyssa (our second child (out of four)...stop laughing right there! YES, We HAVE a TV in the Bedroom!!) :)
Anyway, Alyssa decided that the food I worked hard to prepare (OK, maybe I bought it at HEB) wasn't worth eating. Alyssa, who actually has a "Sixth-Sense" and can actually TASTE food based on the way it LOOKS, decided right then and there that she was not going to eat the chicken that I had prepared because of the charcoal lines/stripes that the grill produced.
Alyssa also has a 'Seventh-Sense" that recognizes "rhetorical questions" better than anyone else in the world (including myself). Honestly, I'll ask her a legitimate question and if she doesn't feel like answering it (than gosh-darnit it's a rhetorical question). It's quite frustrating at times! "Alyssa, did you spill this milk on the ground?' She just walks away... and mumbles...never really answering my question. :(
I'll never forget it, it was at that moment that it hit me. It was like a great flash of brillance, like you'd see in the movies. I was just about to pack up her things and send her on her way (yeah, I know she's only five) but I was tired of it. All she wants to eat is chicken nuggets and candy. Anyway, a stroke of genius hit me like a ton of bricks.
However, you need to know this first...Alyssa is known as the "Animal Angel" in our family. My parents dubbed her that after she spent a couple of days with them (God bless them!) ;) She is fascinated with animals, watches Zaboomafoo (a kids' "Wild Kingdom" show) and tries to pet and smother every living creature.
Back to my epiphany...I fooled her and although I probably shouldn't be proud of this moment (secretly, I am - OK maybe not secretly, since I'm sharing it with over "8 billion internet friends") but Alyssa can't read, and what she can't read, well, it will only make her stronger - isn't that how the saying goes? She was complaining about the stripes on the chicken and how she wasn't going to eat it, when I dug down deep (into her biggest weakness) and said "You're not going to have any of this ZEBRA meat?" acting quite astonished and convincing.
She bit! She wanted to try the zebra meat. WOO HOO! I finally hooked the big one. You see Alyssa is not your typical child. Alyssa is not scared of punishment, and she is not motivated by rewards (treats). Disciplining her has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I still claim that she's the only child I can't beat (no, not "beat" literally). What I mean is that I've figured the boy (Hunter) out and Julia (our oldest) out, but I've never been able to figure out Alyssa and how to motivate (or better yet, manipulate her).
Alyssa, is our "special child". You see, Alyssa has "Selective Amnesia". Alyssa can't ever remember doing anything wrong...EVER! Yeah, she can recall the name of the cat she pet back in 2002, but she can't remember who knocked the lamp over - 20 minutes ago! She's got "Bill Clinton disease" and just "can't recall" her mistakes.
She's also very in-tune with her rights. As a five-year old, she knows more about the fifth-amendment than both Lisa and I do together.
Back to my story, it was a true stroke of genius on my part, (and since I don't have them too often - I'm having to brag about it here), using her ONE weakness (animals) against her. Her curiousity of knowing what a zebra tastes like (for those of you that don't know, it tastes a whole lot like marinated chicken fajita meat). ;)
Hope you enjoyed it! - Leave a comment & tell a friend!!
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